Are You There George Orwell?

I don't do politics on this blog...just doesn't make sense. Besides if you look at my profile or have read some of my posts you can guess my political leanings but I came across this news story yesterday and it just blew me away. I thought I was cynical enough not to be surprised at anything that happens on either side of the political spectrum but this truly surprised and frightened me.

A business that declines government "help" should be applauded by the taxpayer. A business that accepts money from the government and wants to repay it with interest should be applauded by the taxpayer. What's wrong with this picture?

In this linked article, disregard the mention of any political names and parties. Concentrate on the facts and I ask you....regardless of your party affiliation or politics..is this a road we want to go down? I have searched the web for more information on this situation but I could find nothing beyond this article. I frankly hope it is inaccurate but I don't think so. Someone tell me I'm wrong!

Are you out there George? Tell me I'm wrong!

Thanks for visiting

What's Wrong With This Picture?

These two little tykes were on their way to the school bus this morning. This picture was taken from one of my bedroom windows. Nasty weather eh?

Hey, I'm supposed to leave for a "road trip" on Monday!

Have no fear, after all, this is Colorado....











The 6 day forecast for the north central part of New Mexico looks like this.















That doesn't look bad to me either. I'm thinking this will be a good trip. I started packing and finished up researching the stops I'll make along the way. I am planning on staying at a commercial RV park on Tuesday night in Aztec, NM so hopefully I'll be able to file a report from there. For the rest of the trip I will be well beyond any WiFi or cell coverage so the stories will have to wait till I return.

On another totally unrelated but still "What's Wrong With This Picture" subject, what is the benefit to our financial system to allow "short" selling?

I rarely make political or social comments on this blog but our current financial melt down has me scratching my head. Now I'm no financial genius but I managed my way through a business career, raised a family on a budget, bought several houses over the years and numerous cars, boats and trailers. I even accumulated some stocks. Though the years I think I've also learned a little about human nature.

So I'm wondering, how is betting on a bad thing happening....a good thing? If someone makes money on a bad thing happening and they are serious about making this money, isn't it in their best interest if bad things happen? Do you suppose they might try to do what they can to have a bad thing happen? It appears to me that it's way easier to influence the stock market with bad news than it is to influence it with good news.

I just don't get the "logic" in allowing short selling in the financial industry. It seems like it's giving someone a big hammer, sticking a bulls eye on your forehead and then spitting in their face?

What have I missed here?

Thanks for visiting.

Bad Computers and Good Computers

It's amazing how much computers influence our lives. Today I'm dealing with two very different computer issues.

The first issue (Bad Computer) is one that I fear will send me the last little bit of the way to a babbling, spittle drooling, eye twitching, neurotic foot tapping, simpering, whimpering.....well, you get the idea. This computer issue involves the engine computer in my 1999 Suzuki, Grand Vitara. It's an issue that has been going on for about four months now and may just continue until this vehicle ends up on the scrap pile.

About four months ago after driving to a nearby store, I returned to the car and started it up. The engine started but ran like it was missing one cylinder. The engine shook coughed and had almost no power at all. I had a sinking feeling but thought if I could only get back home I could deal with the problem more easily. I made it home but the whole way the "Service Engine Soon!!!" light flashed in my face and I had visions of the engine either exploding or dropping out of the car onto the highway. After getting home I considered my options and just to be sure I really had a problem I went out to the garage and restarted the car. The "Service Engine Soon !!!" light was still on but the engine ran close to normal so I decided to take it to my local mechanic. The mechanic did a diagnostic check (That will be $60.00 please) and found nothing. When they started the engine prior to the check the service light was NOT on.

To sooth the pain they said if I could get it over to them the next time this happened and the engine was still running like it was missing a cylinder they would do another diagnostic check and not charge me for it.....You know where I'm going with this don't you? The problem repeated itself two more times over a period of about 3 months. Each time I struggled to get the car to my mechanic only to find that the diagnostic test revealed nothing. The local mechanic finally said that I would be best in taking it to the Suzuki dealer (In other words, get lost!) as it was almost certainly an engine computer problem. Since the problem always corrected itself in a relatively short period of time I just lived with it until last week. The Bride was driving the car when it had one of these seizures. By the time she got back home she had the look about her that I described in the second paragraph of this post and suggested, strongly, that I find some way to resolve the problem.

This morning I took the vehicle to the Suzuki dealership and explained the problem hoping they would say, "Oh yeah, we know about that. It's the fritzle fratzle and it will cost you about 5 cents to fix." Instead they told me that if the "Service Engine Soon You Idiot!!) light was not on and the problem wasn't actually occurring when they inspected the engine, they really couldn't do anything. They would be glad to run a $110 diagnostic test (Note to His-self: Thank the local mechanic for not gouging you another $50 for the test) but they could categorically say that it would show nothing and it probably was a engine computer problem of some sort.

So.....I guess I'll have to live with this problem until something breaks so bad that they will be able to figure out what the problem is....Problem is for me, that probably means the engine will have to quit completely somewhere and with my luck it will be in a VERY inconvenient place. BAAAAD Computer.

To balance things off here's a Good Computer issue. I have two computers that I use both of which are pretty important to me. I have a laptop that I use everyday and that I take with me on my trips. I also have a desktop that The Bride uses on a regular basis and that runs our home finance program. I have been living ever so on the edge because I have never backed up either computer. I have backed up the data for the home finance program but that is the only backup I have ever done. I know, I know, that is a very dangerous thing and I have been extremely lucky. Well, today I decided to buy and external hard drive and do the right thing by backing up both computers.

Most of the office supply stores were advertising a 500GB external hard drive this week for $99. That's large enough to back up both of my computers on the same drive and at $99 it's a deal. Everything is plug and play and very easy. So, in the time it has taken me to write this post, I have backed up both computers and now I have eliminated one of those nagging fears I've been carrying around for quite a while........had to make room for the Bad Computer, car blowing up fear.

Thanks for visiting.

I Am A Dunce

I am a dunce. I am an unknowing lout. I am all of this and worse today......Gladly!

In my last post I told you that the repair crew was coming for the third time in 5 days to attempt to repair my KitchenAid built in oven. I couldn't follow the logic of their repair plan as the last 3 times this issue seemed to be the thermostat. I did say however that it would be fine with me if I was wrong and would gladly profess that I was an unknowing lout if only the oven would work the way it was supposed to.

This trip they replaced the main circuit board in the oven. This means that they have replaced every electric part in the oven, except the heating elements themselves. They couldn't stick around the three and a half hours it takes to run through the self cleaning cycle to see if the repair worked, so I started it the minute they walked out the door. I had zero expectations....that's not correct. I had every expectation that the oven would once again self destruct. Wrong! Wonderfully wrong.

For the first time since we paid a lot of money for this oven, almost one year ago, it actually worked the way it was supposed to.....and didn't leave me without an oven for at least a week. I'm totally and wonderfully happy right now but I also have a nagging fear that the fix is only temporary.

Just to be sure that this was not a fluke, a string of one, an improbable chance of fate, I think I will run it through the cycle every other day for a week. I hope I'm not disappointed. If I'm not, I'll also have the cleanest oven on the planet!

Thanks for visiting.

KitchenAid I'm MAD!

It seems as if I have become involved in an old fashioned cheat the customer scam....and it looks like I'm in company with hundreds or thousands of others.

Less than a year ago, The Bride and I decided to upgrade our built in oven and microwave from the unit that came with the house. The operative word is "upgrade". We had a plain jane low cost builders unit and wanted something a little more upscale.

After minimal research we selected a KitchenAid self-cleaning model and paid several thousands of dollars for it. The unit was delivered and installed and everything was hunky dory for a month or so. After about 60 days we used the "self-clean" feature and the oven completely shut down. The clock is the only thing that continued to work and it's hard to cook dinner with a clock! It took a little over a week to schedule a service call under the warranty.

When the repairman came, he didn't seem surprised and quickly diagnosed the problem of a blown thermostat. The repair was simple but while he was doing the repair he made a comment that sometimes just replacing the thermostat wasn't a longterm fix. For whatever reason that really didn't register with me.

About two months later....the next time we tried the "self-clean" cycle, the same thing happened. The entire unit shut down, except for the clock. Call the repair guy again, wait another week and a half and the repair guy replaces the thermostat again and this time opens a vent in the trim work that was not open before.

Several months later and we decide to use the "self-clean" cycle for the third time. The third time is NOT the charm and we're back to crock pot dinners....The clock is working and I get the feeling that it's ticking away time just to rub it in that I won't have use of this expensive piece of electric campfire for a while.

Same deal, a week and a half go by and the repairman shows up and replaces the thermostat, again. I guess he took pity on me this time and told me that this was a common problem with KitchenAid built in ovens and I needed to start documenting things and perhaps even contact KitchenAid.

Before I tried to contact KitchenAid I decided to do some internet research to see what I could learn. Unfortunately, I found out more than I wanted to know at http://www.consumeraffairs.com/homeowners/kit_stoves.html .

What have I gotten myself into???

Yesterday I was able to get a real live person at KitchenAid. To say I got the run around is an understatement. After quite a bit of questioning by the "service" (man is that a misnomer)person I finally blurted out that she didn't need to question me, this was a well documented flaw with the product and all she had to do is look at the company complaint files.

She asked what I wanted and I said "fix it, give me one that works or give me my money back". That's when she smugly said that they were fixing it at no cost to me under the terms of the warranty...and that's all they were required to do....and oh, by the way the warranty runs out next month.

I won't drag this tale of woe out any longer. At the end of the day I have an extended warranty for six more months and I'm going to have use the "self-clean" feature every time as soon as they fix it, have it break, call for repairs, call KitchenAid everytime and complain and document the hell out of everything. Hopefully at some point KitchenAid will just provide me with a model which doesn't have this flaw...if they have one.

During this last repair the repairman told me that according to Colorado laws, to be considered a "lemon" a product had to be fixed at least 3 time in a twelve month period. I've got that covered and then some.

The Bride and I plan to use the oven this weekend and then turn on the self-destruct.....I mean self-clean cycle once again so I'm searching for more crock pot recipes...

Fair warning folks, if you are contemplating buying any kitchen appliances you need to visit
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/homeowners/kit_stoves.html

DON'T BUY A KITCHENAID PRODUCT!

Thanks for visiting.

But(t) Really Now!

Here's a novel spin on the old "Slip & Fall" scam that falls into the "Stupid is as stupid does" category. This might even qualify for the Darwin Awards!


BOULDER - A man who is suing Home Depot after he became stuck to a store toilet in 2003 has been hospitalized.

In 2003, 59-year-old Bob Dougherty found himself in a sticky situation after becoming stuck to a toilet seat in a Louisville store. Dougherty claims someone smeared glue on the seat.

When the story surfaced in 2005 Dougherty also said he felt a "tremendous panic" when he realized he was stuck. The lawsuit claims it took 15 minutes for store officials to call for an ambulance and that paramedics had to unbolt the toilet seat and wheel out a "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty who soon passed out.

His trial is set to begin in March of 2008 and he claims he developed post traumatic stress disorder after the incident and subsequently developed diabetes as a result of the PTSD.

Goodbye George

I have made it a practice not to include anything on this blog regarding my business or politics. I will make this one exception however, just to say goodbye to my friend George.

George and I have worked for the same company for over 30 years. He for 32 years and I for 35…so far. Last week they told George his position was gone and his last day would be next week. Fortunately for George, his specialty is in demand in industry and he says he will have no problem getting another job.

I’ll miss George because he and I have worked together for so long and have also become close friends. I’ll miss George because I’m beginning to feel like “the last man standing”.

About five years ago we had a change in leadership in my company. The leadership decided that they wanted to radically change the way the company approaches this particular business and the way to do that was to intentionally bring in people without a background in the business. They wanted to be able to “think outside the box”. If you had a lot of experience in the business you were perceived as “part of the problem”.

My business is a part of the construction industry….a very conservative part of the construction industry. Many of the techniques, designs and products in this industry are the same as they were 100 years ago. The contractors of this industry by and large do not like or want change…they want to do things the way they know how to do them. They want to deal with people that they have a “relationship” with. They have said that in order to “think outside the box”, you have to know where the box is to begin with. In most ways they are correct.

Needless to say, the last five years have been difficult. I am one of the few survivors and I’m at the point that I wish I weren’t. I continue to do what I do because I don’t want to decrease my retirement benefits. I am not in a position to start a new career and my specialty is such that I could not find similar employment locally. The penalty I will pay for retiring before 62, however, is beginning to look small compared to the “quality of life” I now have.

Sometimes I see the whole situation philosophically. I think that I’m just an old guy. Whether they are right or wrong….it’s their turn to run the business for better or worse. Let them figure it out themselves. Aren’t I just like some of the old guys that were here when I started work at this company?

There is no neat finish to this post. There is not a clean cut answer. I work day to day, counting the days just like the counter in the margin on the left of this page. As I type this the counter says 681 days, 10 hours, 3 minutes, 36 seconds. When that time elapses the countdown stops….then again maybe it will stop before then.

Thanks for visiting.

I Think I've Been Snatched by Aliens?

Last night even though I slept well, I woke up with an odd feeling. It wasn't something that I could pinpoint. I felt fine physically. Everything looked normal in my home and outside, but I had this odd indescribable feeling.

Sometime in mid morning I decided to check out the local news web site on my computer and that's when it all became clear to me. I've been snatched by aliens! Snatched and transported to another dimension...to a shadow world. Everything appears to be the same as in my old world but there are little details that give everything away.

I think the aliens have put me on the planet Leftus Liberalus in the galaxy of Bleeding Heartus Major. From what I can deduce this planet is populated by a civilization called "Can't We All Just Get Along" and it's obvious that the civilization is in BIG trouble. That must be why they snatched me? I haven't had much of a chance to look around yet but it's dollars to donuts that they are stacking me on the right side of the planet, trying to correct the tilt a little bit.

Unbelievable you say? That's what I thought at first but I'm sure of it. Only on a different planet would someone be given a ticket for killing a rattlesnake that just bit someone!

I can hear you whispering, "His-Self really needs to retire!" and I'll have you know that while that may be true it has nothing to do with this. The local news station on this planet has reported that a young boy was bitten inside a garage by a rattlesnake. The snake was killed and taken to the emergency room with the boy and ....well don't take my word for it...

"The snake was killed and put into a plastic gallon milk jug. Greg says he learned a valuable lesson about what to do with a rattlesnake when it attacks. "We were informed that any time you're bitten by a snake, you're not to act on it (kill it)," said Greg. He says Larimer County Animal Control came to the emergency room to write a citation for cruelty to animals. Ditus explained the story, saying they had not tortured the snake, and was let off with only a warning. "

I don't know if your computer can pick up signals from this planet but if it can read the whole story here.

I don't know if I'll make it out of here alive.....Wait a minute, that's stupid. If people get in trouble for killing rattlesnakes after they've bitten people I certainly don't have to worry about dying... only about getting out of here....

Someone please call The Bride and tell her I'll be late for dinner!!

Thanks for visiting.

Tools of the Trade

After considering my last post, the thought occurred to me that readers might think that I was not REALLY serious in describing my training session yesterday? I need to assure you that I was indeed. After all, retirement will hopefully last as long or nearly as long as my working career. I went to high school and college to prepare myself for the working world but unfortunately there is no formal training for retirement. Quite the opposite. I have found that the business community in general has a rather poor view of retirement and certainly doesn't make it easy for the average person to achieve that status much less be knowledgeable about it when the time comes. People who want to succeed in retirement need to take matters into their own hands and self train to be prepared.

Realizing the amount of time that I could devote to the hammock, it is reasonable to make sure that my knowledge level of this apparatus is adequate to serve my needs.....and since it's blistering hot outside and I'm not gonna do any of that "catch up" stuff that was on my list....I thought that I might like to share with you some "Tools of the Trade".

Used to be, I thought a hammock was a hammock. I was young and immature, without a clear vision of the future, so what did it matter to me? As I grew older I began to realize that this was a wonderful device and there were a multitude of different types of hammocks. I certainly didn't want to be a "jack of all and master of none" type so in recent years I have decided to focus my efforts on two basic types. I just don't have time enough to master all of them!

I have narrowed down the types of hammocks that I use to two. The first, is one of the most common of types in North America. It's the one I have used for years and am still training on and is referred to as a Pawley's Island hammock. The name comes from the small coastal island in South Carolina where this design originated. It is constructed of knotted rope and has wooden stretchers on either end to provide a relatively flat and stable bearing surface. While the learning curve is not terribly steep on this model it can still take years of practice to master all of the intricacies of this versatile design.

Some common accessory items are a pillow....and on the really expensive models, an automatic cold beverage delivery device, sometimes referred to as a wife.

Some of the less desirable features are that it is a pretty static platform. That is, it needs a couple of posts or trees or something to support it and the associated hardware to attach to the support devices. The cold beverage delivery device requires a TON of maintenance and is very expensive but that's true for any type of hammock that has this accessory.

The Pawley's Island hammock is not really very portable and for that reason, I employ one other type of hammock. This hammock was designed to travel. It has with it, it's own support system and can be set up in less than a minute. It doesn't have the wooden stretchers and is a little more unstable as a weight distribution platform. That negative is balanced by the fact that it is much lower to the ground and chances of injury due to falling is much less.

One other important point is that the portable hammock has a continuous platform, a piece of fabric, and does not have the integral cooling or drainage holes that the knotted design of the Pawley's Island design offers. This can be a big negative if the user is not able to handle platform manipulation and a beverage at the same time. A spilled hot or cold drink does not drain automatically as on the Pawley's Island design but rather accumulates at the low point of the occupied platform....and you know where that is!

I'll quickly comment on two other hammock designs with which I have some experience..... Fortunately my experience with the jungle hammock is somewhat limited but I could never really get the hang of this device.... I suppose it was the snakes or the bugs or the fact that every time I was in a position to sleep in this contraption there was always someone in the vicinity trying to kill me.

The final hammock is the chair hammock... and the only comment I have on this design is... "What's the point?"

I hope this information is helpful to those who may be in or near the position of retirement. I also hope that my friends and acquaintances can now see why it is that I am so serious about this matter?

Thanks for visiting.

Making The Best Of It

The weekend finds me here at home and not traveling the roads with Bivouac. Since there are still 769 days until complete freedom I guess I can't complain too much....Besides I have another trip planned which I'll tell you about a little later. This day was payback for my Wyoming trip. There was grass to mow, trimming to be done and a lot of general cleanup and maintenance work.
Since I was home, I took The Emmer to work this morning at 6am. The Emmer, by the way, has decided to try for her driver's license once more towards the end of July. She has passed the written test and only needs to pass the actual driving test. We will double up on her practice driving to help her get ready. We all look forward to the freedom she will have once she gets that license!

Even though this was a "payback weekend" I still needed to be vigilant and train for my days of retirement. With this in mind, after a full day of chores, I broke out the hammock for another training session.
Hammocks can be dangerous things and they need to be treated with respect. I have a friend who suffered serious, though gratefully not fatal, grass burns as a result of a lack of respect for this complex weight distribution apparatus. There is a technique to the proper utilization of a hammock that can take years to master. I have vowed to be a master by the time I retire so practice is important.

Look at the picture above. This is the basic "on your back with feet uncrossed" position. Note the tilt of the hammock cross bar....pitiful. I need a lot of work on that one!

After about 45 minutes of practice with this, the most basic of maneuvers, I was able to achieve a respectable orientation. The crossbar is level and the end ropes are uniformly positioned and stretched to the post. I had to experiment with numerous butt to head orientations to finally overcome the list to the left. Being a natural lefty it is much harder to overcome this dip to the left.

Once I had a good handle, or should I say footle, on the most basic of positions, it was time to press the envelope a bit. At the next level of difficulty is the "crossed feet" position and within this position there are two subsets....the "left foot over right foot" and the "right foot over left foot".

As I mentioned, I am a natural lefty so "left foot over right foot" was the place to begin! Alas, I had the same initial problems with this position as I did with the uncrossed position. List to the left. I was really disgusted with myself and almost took the easy way out of quitting and going back to yard work but I didn't work for 35 years to just give up! No sir! I dug deep. I tried every butt to head orientation my body would allow. I was so exhausted that at one point I almost fell asleep but I didn't give up and before you know it....viola...perfecto!

This is akin to learning how to ride a bicycle. You try and try and just can't seem to get it when all of a sudden....you've got it! And just to prove to myself that I indeed "had it", I went for the "right foot over left foot" position and without missing a beat....I aced that one too! Well, to be humble about it maybe I didn't ace the last one but it was pretty darned good.

All these contortions and dangerous butt to head maneuvers really took their toll on me so after this last success I put the hammock away and went inside for a well deserved nap.

Since I'm home tomorrow as well I guess I'll do some more catching up on yard work and then if I can stand the mental strain I might...just might, pull the hammock out again for another training session.

Thanks for visiting.

P.S. I'm so drained, I'll wait till the next post to fill you in on the next road trip...but I'll give you a little tidbit. You're going to get to know #4 a lot better!

Will The Real Wyoming Please Stand Up?

Is it.....













or.............













or...............













or..............

I'm Not Makin' This Stuff Up

Are you concerned about the social life of your pooch? Naw, I don't mean just meetin' and greetin' fellow canines on the walk. I mean long term. Who is he/she going to plan the future with?...grow old with?...

If you're an owner of an even number (as in two, four, etc) of canines, are you going to let them live in sin for the rest of their lives or are you going to do the socially responsible thing and see to it that they have a "sanctioned" relationship?

Has Colorado finally out-weirded California?

You be the judge... Bow Wow Vows

Interesting to note that only spayed/neutered and leashed participants are allowed!

Thanks for visiting!

Call Me Joe Btfsplk!

I know I'm going to have to 'splain this to those of you that weren't reading comic strips before 1977. In 1977, Al Capp retired one of the most beloved comic strips of all times, Li'l Abner. He began the strip in 1934 and over the years millions upon millions of people enjoyed his "hillbilly humor". It is amazing how much Li'l Abner has seeped into our everyday culture. There's Fearless Fosdick the detective, Daisy Mae, Sadie Hawkins Day Dances, Kickapoo Joy Juice and a host of other things. We all laughed at the antics of the characters.

One character that we laughed at and simultaneously felt sorry for was Joe Btfsplk. Joe was the nicest guy and would do anything for anybody....but for one little flaw, he would be the world's ideal friend. The one flaw was that he was the world's biggest jinx. Whatever could go wrong did go wrong for Joe. He was so unlucky that a black cloud always followed him around and rained on his head.

I am related to Joe. I know I am. Nothing I do is ever easy. Nothing ever works for me the way it does for "normal" folks. Everything I own is one of a kind. No stock part fits anything I own. I don't care if it's a toaster, a lawnmower, a computer, an electric razor, a piece of furniture, or a travel trailer. I can't just go to a store and buy something to add, fix or replace any item I own.

That's not correct, I can go to a store and buy something to add, fix or replace something on an item I own.....I do it ALL the time. It just doesn't fit or work if I buy it at the store like everyone else in the civilized world. The piece, part, thing I need is ALWAYS a special order, made only by Tibetan monks on a special religious holiday that occurs once every 5.362 years.....if the moon happens to be in the correct phase on that day!

It can't be that bad you say? Well, Joe Btfsplk to you too.....

After doing all the posts about my upcoming Moab trip I realized that I have some maintenance work to do on my travel trailer, just to be on the safe side.This will be the first time I've taken the trailer to Moab. Believe me, having mechanical, or for that matter any kind of trouble in eastern Utah is NOT what you want to have. On the way to Moab, The Bride and I are going to spend two nights in a pretty remote place so things need to work right.

So the plan is to bring the trailer from the storage lot to the house on Saturday. I can putter around inside it on Sunday and on Monday morning take it to have the brakes checked and the bearings repacked. Saturday afternoon I'm pumped! I get to play with the trailer....ah, Moab is going to be so great! I'm thinking all these great thoughts as I hook the trailer up. The trailer is riding behind the vehicle great...I'm one contented manly man.

About two blocks from home as I'm driving through the neighborhood, I hit a dip in the road and feel/hear a hard "scrape". As I try to figure out what that was, I hit another dip and feel/hear an even louder "scrape". What the heck???.....................

Daydreaming about Moab interfered with my mental check list when hooking up and of all things, I forgot to raise the tongue jack all the way up. The scrape was the jack leg hitting the ground....and bending out of shape.

It doesn't take a lot of bend to put you in a world of hurt. If the jack won't go up or down you can't get the trailer off of the tow vehicle! Twenty minutes of panic subsided into a semblance of reason. Not a big deal says I. Hand operated jacks like this are only about $35. It's only 3 pm. I'll rush over to Camping World and buy a new one and replace the whole kit & caboodle. There are only 3 bolts to take off and replace.

I execute this part of the plan flawlessly. I even get a heavier duty jack than I need because it's the smallest they have. No worry, it's an "upgrade". It's a 60 mile round trip but my trailer is worth it....besides unless I want to leave the trailer on the vehicle permanently, I don't have a choice.

I get back home at about 5 pm and am thinking how great it is that I'm going to upgrade to a bigger jack. Boy this is one easy fix!

The trailer frame has two holes the jack goes through and the 3 bolts I mentioned. That's it, simple. The jack slides through the first hole and then.......bump....didn't get it quite straight. Do it again....bump...won't go through the second hole? It's just me, I'm not sliding it in right......................Nope, the second hole in smaller than the first. Just about 1/4" too small! My horse for a 1/4"!!!

Sunday is devoted to internet searching on jack post diameters. I'm a special guy! I'm a special guy with a special jack! Monday is devoted to checking the possibilities of someone welding a new plate with larger hole on the trailer frame and checking every RV dealer in town to see if someone outside of Tibet has the right jack.

Joe Btfsplk, how are we related? Your father's, mother's, cousin's, grandson is my...something or other. I knew it! I knew it!

Even bad luck guys catch a break every now and again. One dealer about 50 miles from here has the right jack! That's a100 mile round trip for that and another 60 mile round trip to take the "upgrade" back.

I'm glad I'm just a "distant" relative of Joe's.

Thanks for visiting.

Fishin' Moab Style

One of the reasons I like the trip to Moab so much is that there is a variety of things to do. It's not just jeeping or mountain biking. Very few people know that there is some world class fishing in the Moab area as well.

This gets overlooked a lot since Moab is not too far from Lake Powell and the style of fishing in the Moab area is somewhat unique. Unique or not though, if you want a real thrill, if you want to experience the "tug" of a lifetime, try fishin' Moab style.

First, you have to get yourself rigged up right. The equipment is a little different than most but in this case the equipment makes the sportsman...and you have to match the equipment to the quarry as any real sportsman knows.

Most people that do this are not your typical yuppie, Orvis outfitted, tree huggin, put it back after you've had your fun sportsman. No Sir! These people are in it for results. Nothin' gets tossed back here, so you may as well go heavy on the equipment.

The line is the absolute most important thing. Without it there's no point in doing this to begin with because that's the only way to land the quarry. Make sure it's stout and I do mean stout. There's no greater letdown than to fight a catch right up to your feet and then have the line break!

My personal choice is 3" wide, yellow strapping. You want to make sure that it's American made too! Shamino or Diaway just won't do for this. Since the most of the rock in the area is red, the yellow color makes it a lot easier for the sportsman to see. I think it's been proven that the quarry is color blind so don't worry that this might hurt your chances.






Now, there's a lot of controversy on the bait issue. Everyone pretty much agrees that old rusty mufflers work pretty well. Heck, just about any old rusty auto part will do. The controversy is over whether or not to use an "attractant" like transmission fluid or motor oil on the bait. I'm kind of a purist and think that using something like that is a little like cheating so I use my bait dry. Some folks even use those plastic/rubber type baits, claiming that they are much more life-like. I must admit, I have never tried them so really can't comment.

Now that you're rigged up, the next thing is to find a fishin' hole. There are a lot of them around but not all of them produce. This is really the hard part because most people are real jealous about their favorite spots and aren't going to help you much. You're just going to have to try a bunch of different spots and find one that works for you....and your team.

Did I tell you that this is not a solitary sport? No? You're gonna need help. The last thing you want is to hook on to something and find you can't land it. It could even be dangerous if you get pulled in while trying to land it. So bring some friends. The more the better.

When you get your spot and have your friends there to back you up, toss your line in the hole. This is all bottom fishin' so you don't have to worry about a bobber or anything. You can jiggle the line every now and again if that makes you feel better, but I don't think it really helps.

Just like any fishin', sometimes there's plenty of action and sometimes it's pretty slow. You have to be real careful that your bait doesn't get stolen. These things are tricky. They can suck the bait right off the hook and not so much as twitch the line. The more you do this, the better you get at it and pretty soon you'll be able to feel that rascal sucking on your bait and this is where the fun begins. Once you figure he's swallowed that muffler good, you and your friends yank on the line for all you're worth and for heavens sake hang on!

A lot of times these wily things will just sit there on the bottom and play tug 'o war with you and here's where you really need all those friends you brought with you.

If you watch your technique, don't get over-confident and don't let the rascal pull you in, you'll be able to land him!

And you have now experienced Moab fishing at it's best. What a great feeling landing a monster like this! The only problem with this trip was that it wasn't Toyota season and we had to throw this one back.

Oh well, there's always next year!

Thanks for visiting!

Give Me A Break!

I can't help it....I can't...I can't. Am I crazy? I know some of the "weird" I go looking for probably rubs off on me a little, but....

Doesn't this kind of guy normally say, Me? Not Me! Never! She was a tramp but I never. No, not me! Ask those other guys.

Does that look like the face that said, Yes it's me. I'm proud to say that I am the father of this child. It was an act of love. I intend to dedicate my life to the care and upbringing of this child. No more women, no more drink. I'll get a job as a janitor if that's what it takes! ????????? ($$$$$$)

Give me a break, pleeeeeese...Can we get to the nice part of spring now???

Thanks for visiting.

Who Murdered Little Bett and What’s Mr. Potato Head Got To Do With It?

OK, how’s this for weird? Hachaliah Bailey had a thing for elephants. The first two modern elephants to walk the ground in North America were owned by Bailey.


Elephants were such a novelty in America that people would skip church and pay to see an elephant. This didn’t sit well with the religious community. Bailey’s first elephant, “Big Bett” arrived in America in 1796. Big Bett spent the next 20 years traveling up and down the east coast making money (even on Sundays) for Hachaliah. One Sunday Big Bett and her keeper made the mistake of crossing the land of a religious, elephant-intolerant citizen who promptly shot the beloved elephant.


Hachaliah was crushed and erected a statue of Big Bett in his hometown of Somers, NY. To help ease his grief he purchased another elephant called Little Bett, The Learned Elephant. Little Bett, too, charmed the citizenry and infuriated religious zealots on weekdays as well as Sundays.


May 24, 1826 found Little Bett in Chepachet, Rhode Island. While crossing the little bridge over the Chepachet River in the middle of town, Little Bett, like her predecessor, was cut down by gunfire. Two elephants, two elephant murders!!


One non-historical theory by an unnamed blog author theorizes that a rebellious teenager who had slipped his dad’s new musket out of the house was cruising about the village with his cronies when they challenged him with….”You can’t hit the broadside of an elephant with that thing!”….The rest is non-history.


The actual historical records show that seven men were eventually brought to justice and two of them paid the ultimate price…banishment from the Masonic Order! Folks, I couldn’t in my wildest dreams make this stuff up.


The town of Chepachet to this day conceals the truth. Look at this official town site and see how cleverly they avoid responsibility for this heinous crime. Truth will out however and a small plaque on the bridge today declares that “diverse hands fired upon Betty…”


Mere yards down the road, in front of the town hall facing Highway 44, stands a large Mr. Potato Head arms outstreched. Now you have to admit, a large Mr. Potato Head in front of the town hall is weird enough. If it were a Muffler Man it would seem normal to me, but Mr. Potato Head…? To make things even more weird, this Mr. Potato Head is named Betty The Learned Elephant.


Just what are the ruling fathers of Chepachet up to? It looks to me like they want the fame and glory of Little Bett, the tens of dollars that tourists like me bring to their pathetic little economy, without admitting that their town brutally murdered America’s cerebral sweetheart of 1826!


If I thought the mighty power of this blog could help right this grievous wrong, I would call for a boycott of tourists to Chepachet, Rhode Island. To do this however they would have to have some tourists to begin with….so I’m helpless.


In my quest for weird I have discovered these facts and actually visited this historic and hallowed site so that all who visit my blog shall know the truth!!! I certify that the pictures in this post are real and not a computer trick and offer them as proof of my veracity so help me God.

Thanks for visiting.

"Guitar" Gets Hatted

Wow, what a weekend! The circle took off first thing Saturday morning for Leadville...by way of Fairplay and Buena Vista. The weather "guesstimate" was all over the place all week but by Friday night they figured out that there might be some snow somewhere in the state on Saturday. We found it about 6 miles outside Denver at about 6500 feet altitude. This was a big weekend however and we had four wheel drive vehicles so we weren't about to turn around.

First stop was Fairplay. Fairplay is another small old mining town about an hour southwest of Denver. In addition to the great history and location, it is also home to Colorado Mountain Hat Company, the birthplace of both "Two Timing, Too Tall's" and my custom cowboy hats. We wanted to stop by and get our hats "tuned" up by the proprietor Smitty. We...or at least I was hoping that "Guitar" John would take the plunge and order a hat for himself. You will notice in previous posts that Two Timing, Too Tall and I have been harassing him for not having one for some time. After about 5 minutes in the store, dang it if he didn't say "I'm gonna get one!"... AND he said it out loud.... AND we all heard it so there was no backing out now.

That was probably the easiest part of the decision. Deciding to buy one that is. Now he had to choose the type of felt, the size of the brim, the shape, the color, the hat band. All of this with five "helpers". This was my kind of event. He was at our mercy. The picture at the top of the page shows just a fraction of the different combinations of size, shape, color and whatnot.

Guitar started off by being real conservative and looking at something that he could wear "anywhere". The picture at the left shows this "vanilla" look. The five of us hooted and hollered that if he wanted something he could wear "anywhere" he may as well go to J.C. Penny's. After all if you're going to buy a custom COWBOY hat it ought to look like a COWBOY hat, not some wimpy, bland nothing!

Well then, we got him off of that ridiculous trend and at least got him looking at other stuff. Guitar can be a slow study however, and while he gave up "ungodly" bland he was still having a hard time with the concept C O W B O Y hat. 'Course we were right there to help him in his time of confusion.

Ever so slightly in his defense....it can be confusing. Especially if you have questions about your true identity or personna? I'm not saying he does but look at his eyes in these pictures. Does it look like to you that he has a clue?

Guitar finally did himself proud and picked out a real COWBOY hat. If you're thinking you're gonna see a picture of it right now you're wrong. It will be at least ten weeks before his hat is "born" and before anything Guitar has to submit to the "conforminator". The conforminator is a mechanical device that was a common tool of haberdashers in the 1800's and up until the early part of the 1900's. They are now very rare.

The purpose of the conforminator is to to provide the haberdasher with a "map" of a persons head. A map that makes a hat, a custom hat. It does this by tracing a reduced scale outline of the subjects head to a piece of paper. Once Smitty does this he has a paper file that documents your head for eternity because while the rest of your body may change over time, your head remains the same. That can be used in the future to make more custom hats if you so desire. Smitty told us he has elaborate security procedures for protecting this important and very sensitive data and in all his years in business no one has broken into that cookie tin.

So Guitar has finally ordered his hat. He now has ten weeks to wait to see the product of his...I mean OUR choice. Ten weeks to consider if he has made a gigantic mistake on the style or color. Ten weeks to consider if he will look like a fool wearing OUR choice. Ten weeks to think about how much he spent to maybe look like....well you know what I'm trying to say.

Don't worry Guitar, I think you made the right choice. You will look absolutely precious in your new hat. After all anyone that has a head shaped like the one below can't help but look like....well you know.

There's lots more to tell about our trip but I'm on the road right now and time is limited so I'll have to do this in several posts so stay tuned.

Thanks for visiting!

On Our Own - Chapter 4

Seven days and seven nights have elapsed since The Emmer and I began our adventure of "On Our Own". Notwithstanding several fires, some broken dishes and altogether average (except for Karen's lasagna and my New Orleans dinner) eats, we have survived. No deep cuts, serious burns or other flesh wounds. We will be replacing the oven and microwave but that is not because of the activities of this past week as I will explain later.

Good to my word, Emmer and I ate out on Friday night. We went to Chili's and Emmer had quesedillas and I had a rack of baby back ribs. Emmer really enjoys eating out and doesn't get the chance to do it too much so this was a treat for her. Last night we grilled steak on the barbecue.


My bride arrives at the airport at 5:30 pm so we will probably stop somewhere on the way home for dinner. The Emmer will be consigned to leftovers for tonight. All in all I didn't find the cooking part too difficult. It was the coordination of all the different pieces of the dinner that I lack skill in. I suppose that part is an acquired skill......which hopefully I won't have to acquire for a couple more years. At any rate as a result of The Emmers rash statement which got us into this situation to begin with (Aw mom, we can "make it on our own".) we have proven that we can indeed make it "On Our Own". I just pray that we have a while before we need to again.

As I mentioned earlier we are going to have the oven and microwave replaced. Really, this has nothing whatsoever to do with my adventure of the last week. The oven really has not performed right since we moved here 11 years ago. The self clean cycle would jam about halfway through the process and the only way to return to normal operations was to cut the electricity off at the breaker panel, let the oven cool down and restore the power. We managed to live with this for 11 years but a couple of weeks ago the microwave began to act up and it was the last straw. Last weekend I ordered the oven and microwave that the bride had picked out. Hopefully it will be installed in about two weeks.

The weather was so nice here yesterday (mid 60's) that I spent most of the day working in my travel trailer. Even though it's about a month too early to risk camping, I de-winterized the fresh water system by draining all the antifreeze out and sanitizing all the fresh water lines. I also had 2 vent covers installled that will allow me to keep the roof vents open when it rains. This is important because the trailer can get real stuffy fast if all the windows and vents are closed while people are in it. Finally, I replaced the manual furnace thermostat with a digital one that will operate much more smoothly and keep the furnace from cycling on an off so much in cold weather. It also has a digital temperature read out so we will be able to tell what the inside temperature is.

I'm hoping that next month we all can go camping for a weekend. The Emmer and Molly dog have never camped with us and I think they would enjoy it.

I'm in town for one more week before I travel again but I have a couple of things I want to post about so be sure to stop by.

Thanks for visiting!

On Our Own - Chapter 3

The count is down to THREE! I have been in New Orleans for the past two days and on Tuesday at least I dined in a manner more like that to which I was formerly accustomed.

The trip started with the prerequisite delay for my flight. I say prerequisite because the majority of my trips over the last few months all have had some type of flight delay. It seems for some reason this time, United Airlines wanted to update the onboard navigation computer. I really couldn't figure that one out but it did seem odd that all of the people who got off the plane in Denver were wearing Mexican straw hats, shorts, flip flops and Tommy Bahama shirts? Well, whatever they did worked, because the pilot found his way to the Crescent City without any problems.

After a couple hours work with our local business contacts we decided to head out for dinner. My anemic slack jowled look induced by 4 days of "On Our Own" may have had some influence on the matter but that was fine with me. I wanted to eat and eat well.

The last time I was in New Orleans they took me to K-Paul's which is owned by Paul Prudhomme. Dinner that night was fantastic so my sights were set pretty high. I had visions of Emeril's but my hosts said they wanted to go to an out of the way, local spot. They said I wouldn't be disappointed and I was not.

We had dinner at Clancy's and it really was a "local" restaurant. In my eyes local is even better and the food was proof. As an appetizer I had oysters and brie a fantastic combination. This was followed by a Boston salad, baked snapper with avocado sauce and for desert, chocolate brownie pie with caramel ice cream. While it didn't make up entirely for having to deal with lawyers for two days it went a long way in reducing the curse of "On Our Own".

Yesterday, after a full day of work we tried to make our way back to the Denver area and not to to depress and frighten the travelling public with the exactitudes let me just say I arrived at home at 2 am this morning.

I did go into work for a few hours and it's a good thing I did because if you'll remember The Emmer and I are "On Our Own" and I have three more dinners to conjugate....We can now lower the count to TWO.

There is a meeting room right next to my office which gets pretty heavy use and today was no exception. Today it was a lunch meeting and lunch consisted of burritos!!! When the meeting was over and all the people had vacated, I cruised through the meeting room and snagged two burritos. I am not one to look a gift burro in the mouth!

I didn't tell The Emmer about my find but told her I was going to make one of Grandma's famous recipe's that she had never had before.....burritos. The recipe was so secret I said that I didn't know if she, Emmer, was worthy to behold this wonderment in its creation yet. Therefore she needed to remain out of the kitchen whilst I did my magic.

For about 45 minutes I banged around the kitchen, ate some chips and salsa and left obvious "cooking" signs around the kitchen. I then put the two burritos on a pan to warm in the oven and called Emmer in for dinner explaining that we just had a few minutes until we could partake of Grandma's legacy.

I could tell The Emmer was not overly impressed but she certainly didn't want to impune the memory of Grandma so she ate with a feigned gusto. Not wanting her to feel bad about her late grandmother's culinary abilities, I allowed as how I probably didn't capture the magnificence of Grandma's original recipe and that perhaps tomorrow we could eat out for dinner.

Dinner out will leave ONE more "On Our Own". Stay tuned....

Thanks for visiting.

On Our Own - Chapter 2

This is turning out to be easier than I expected…

Just about the time I was throwing away the metal plate for the electric grill after lunch on Sunday, (amazing what some common kitchen utensils will do to the “never great anyway” Teflon coating), the phone rang. It was “Guitar” John wanting to know if The Emmer and I were going to dinner at Too Timing, Too Tall’s and Karen’s place?

“Didn’t know she was puttin on the dog and that we were invited?”, I said.

Turns out Karen’s a fan of the Pioneer Woman’s blog and she wanted to try out a lasagna recipe she saw on Pioneer’s blog the other day. I told Guitar that it was lucky he caught me because I was just starting preparations for a real exotic dinner I had planned for Emmer and I and that once I got into the intricacies of this creation I wouldn’t be able to just stop. (After all, once the can opener breaks the seal you can’t undo it. It’s not like you can put it back in the freezer or anything.) Since he did catch me in time, however, I’d be glad to lend my expert opinion to the matter of lasagna.

Guitar and his better half, Pic-E, picked up Emmer and I about 5 pm and we proceeded to Karen and Two Timing, Too Tall's place. It was a delightful spring afternoon and while Guitar and Two Timing, Too Tall, were out on the deck discussing the relative merits of electronic lockers on their Jeep Rubicons, I delighted the ladies with talk of Julienne, basting, reductions and such. They were frankly amazed at my grasp of culinary niceties. I actually held myself back some as I didn't want to overwhelm them with this unseen side of me.

After a while we proceeded to the table and sampled Lasagna ala Pioneer Woman. I must admit it was terrific. All the while I was enjoying the eats I was thinking, that's 2 dinners down only 5 more to go! I made sure I complimented Karen on her faithful rendition of a new classic and told her that I couldn't have done better myself! Normally a statement like that is guaranteed to bring an offer of "There's plenty left, you MUST take some home with you."....which would have been dinner #3 by my calculation, but for whatever reason Karen didn't rise to the bait.

As we were driving home I realized that I have a business trip for Tuesday and will be in New Orleans Tuesday night and back late Wednesday night! That's two more nights that require no magic on my part....I'll even get to go to a really nice restaurant Tuesday night.....I'll show Emmer a thing or two about WE.

I do have to work some magic tonight so I'd better get going. I think the microwave is clean enough so I won't start a fire if I use it tonight and I got all the big pieces off the sides of the oven so that's good to go too.............Stay tuned.

Thanks for visiting